Мис варыл бизнят, у ное скрибсал нункего ив мисом дзиурнау... Хауевко, досва диня бэзад олчти энтесь мундир селебразновал фиезник "Журень Хейлигтого Валентина". Опа зетому риводу она мисых клаурсах инглейского лензвика ас подемансили наскрибсать амовную куенторию, "love story". Хирт мисая, кужет бить, юм вилбдет занемато пролетать:
There was me, that is Ivan, and my three droogs, that is Tolyan, Lyoha and Seriy, Seriy being really gray, and we sat in the Byck Saloon making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. The Byck Saloon was a new russian mesto, and you may, O my brothers, have forgotten what these mestos were like, things changing so skorry these days and everybody very quick to forget, sitting on the Internet and stuff. Well, they sold all kinds of bookhlo there plus some other veshches too. So this evening I am telling you about we were peeting peevo with some extra veshches and some vobla, of course.
Our pockets were full of deng, us having had tolchocked some poor lokh down the prospect just about an hour before. But as they govoryat, money isn't everything.
The four of us were dressed in the height of modda, which in those days was a raspberry pidzhak ot Armani, a pair of black brukkes and luckyroved bashmackees - the shinier, the luchshe. So we were ready to meet up with some ptitsas for a bit of pol, when the bar's dver opened...
I have to tell you very carefully what happened then, O my bratukhees, even though I'm not a very mnogoslovny veck, but a choodo is a choodo and it requires uvazhitelnoe otnoshenee. So, the bar's dver otkrylassya, and in stepped some devotchkas - I cannot say how mnogo, well, because there was just odna among them I was able to viddy at the time. I recognized her immediately - that was my old zaznoba from the old shkola times, named Leena. Boy, have ona grown up to be one classy tyolka! I tell you, O bratki moi - one look at her plattie, and those big groody, and vollos sobranny in the best prichoska one have ever seen on devotchka's gulliver...
Needless to govoreet, that moment I forgot vsyo. I forgot about the banda, about my mechtes stait bugatty, about my droogs and sobooteelnicks, about deng and slava. All that imelo znatchenie then was Leena and her krasota. I govoryu you, bratushki, I would have sidel there and scholkal my cluve, if ne for Lyoha, who have tolchocked me in my plecho i nachal sprasheevat: "Van, ej-Bog, razve etto ne..."
No ya uzhe ne slushal, because I was begging to the drugoj konec bara, plyukhalsya na kolenin, hearing myself govoreet:
Lenka, prostee menya! Prostee za to, chto cheated na tebya s Nadkoy! Ya togda ochen obeedelsa, da i piano byl v zhopu. Vernees ko mne, ya proshoo tebya! Lenk! Ya tebya buddu na rookers noseet! A? But esli ty s Vasskoj now - zabood pro Vassku! On never smozhett lubeet tebya as much as ya tebya lubloo... Lenka, smotree - ya stoyu pered toboj na kolenins i proshoo, oomolyayu tebya. Verniss! Vsyo buddet horrorshow! Nu Lenk, nu ya zhe love tebya! Nu Leeeeeeenkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Коньд ореспекеньем, Гло Ку.