Глад бонжурствовать юс апресле лунгаминного абсенствия (треси монатца, ное хорсрен шеначий). Хаевко, мис взыл мучень бешафнят - соепрезщал клаурсы инглейского лензвика. Инобы ное взыть нюдопалабным, кверчу поершейзать юм сингно ассание, квелорое джаско вото наскрибал. Ассигназьоние варло - наскрибать хорашную куенторию она настепанящий фиезник "Приветвин". Хирт шна:
The events I'd like to tell you about took place in a small town of Derry Vushko right after the old fart Party Zahn have thrown away the hooves. Not a lot of people particulary cared about the guy giving an oak, so only two men came to see his body being treachered to earth. Both of them, like the old Party himself, were retired doe's drummers, so they figured they'd get some entertainment instead of beating up the baklushes. One of them, namely Leggie Owner, was not a fool for grinding with his tongue, while the other guy, a chinaman named Chu Wak, was famous for not being able to tie up two words unless he was drunk into an asshole.
- So I tell this motherfucker, - continued Leggie - "What? You have the eggs to roll a barrel on me? You - on me?! Did you fall off an oak tree? Did your balls drive behind your rolls?!" I tell you, the piece of shit was almost grabbed by Kondraty!
- Really? - mumbled Chu - You are not pouring over?
- Here's a cross for you! - exclaimed Owner - Shall I not see freedom for a century! Anyway, - he went on - Back to Party. Old Zahn had a son, right? And a nice lad - two inches from a potty, and already a shallow pie. So, on his thirteenth birthday the boy runs away, see? "That's it" - we said to Party then - "You can search-whistle now!" But he didn't believe us. He went around singing "Dee Fee Rumba" for Junior and, well, waiting for the weather by the sea. Then we start getting the news. One guy is hatly acquainted with the sheriff of Nodding Ham, and he heared that Junior was convicted for snuffing some poor fucker in a bore dale. Butchered him under a nut, they say. And to think that I told the boy that saloons and hoes could lead one to tsugunder!
- Man, you are rubbing my spectacles in... - managed Chu - And I already started taking it for a clean coin!
- You think I am leading you by the nose, dontcha? - grinned Leggie - Think I'm hanging noodles on your ears, eh? Well, wait till I finish, and you won't, I'm willing to give you a tooth! So, one would imagine this kind of news would make old Party think, right? Hold your pocket wider! He doesn't beileve any of that, still going around not blowing in his moustache. I believe in the long run his roof pretty much slid, he stopped working and all his savings have covered themselves with pussy. So now that he's bent himself, he's leaving Junior an inheritance the size of gulka's dick. Junior was left with his nose - no house, no money, or, on a thin end, a car. But wait! Here's where it gets interesting - I heard today in the little run-in that Junior was seen around here couple days ago, angry as hell and drunk into a wiener, that boy. Was shoutin' "I'll show him where crawdads hybernate! I'll do him in, and business is in the hat!", they tell me...
The two characters would have stayed there sharpening their lyases for a long time, but suddenly the darkness of the night have concentrated around them. Not a single zga could be seen. In the silence that followed (even Leggie, who usually didn't reach in his pocket for a word, got frozen with his mouth open) the only thing that could be heard was the sound of steps gently approaching the grave...
When the first rays of the upcoming sun touched the grounds of the cemetery, they also touched the fresh grave, and two bodies on the ground beside it being slowly covered by red and yellow leaves, first martlets of the strengthening fall.
Ёрш тругда, Гло Ку, Пискуер.